"To be liberated in Christ, we've got some sacrifices to make. Make sure He's the one asking for it, but if he is, any sacrifice you make will be wholly consumed by Him as such a sweet sacrifice. He will bless." ~Beth Moore, "Breaking Free"
Sometimes, we sacrifice and it takes a while for it to sink in that we are truly making a sacrifice. I never considered that I was being asked by God to sacrifice the time, love, and presence of my husband when he is asked to serve God's kingdom as a missionary. My husband is truly spiritually gifted to serve. He serves without question as to why or what for, and four years ago I couldn't have imagined that God would see me through to this place in my life. Through mission trip after mission trip, God has prepared me to be the wife of a missionary of this magnitude without me even realizing it. It wasn't until recently that I have come to realize that my sacrificial giving and understanding of this situation has just as much impact on those around me, especially my children, as the impact my husband is having in serving.
Today, my husband leaves for 4 weeks to serve as a skilled tradesman in Haiti. This is the longest mission trip he has taken, and by far the one I have been the most prepared for spiritually and emotionally. Will it stay that way? I doubt it. I mean, lets be honest....I'm a girl, and I'm human. That pretty much sets me up to be highly emotional at some point during this process. A lot of obstacles had crossed Chris' path in the past 24-48 hours and I have no doubt that Satan tried many different avenues to hinder his service. My husband's devotion to the Lord has been unwavering as he said it had never crossed his mind to not go on this trip. Money was raised, supplies were bought, plans changed, devastation occurred, and the whole time my husband put his faith in God's plan and not in his own desires or thoughts of what he thought needed to happen. Oh, what a powerful example he provides for our children about trusting God's plans and I truly believe that the Lord will reward such a commitment.
I have spoken to Chris for the last time stateside, so at this point, I'm not sure when I will talk to him again. That saddens my heart, but at the same time there is comfort and anticipation that when I have no husband to fall on, that I am left to desperately fall at the feet of Christ. Even more so, what does my sacrifice and how I handle it teach my children? Can I help my boys seek Christ in the midst of sadness and what seems like crisis? Can my sacrifice be turned into service right here in my home? I wholeheartedly believe that it can. Sometimes in what seems like a time that you aren't giving enough to God, the Lord is simply calling you to serve your families and to be the mother and caregiver that He has designed you to be.
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