Monday, August 23, 2010

Day 23, Part 2 - Haiti Mission - Pain and PB & J

"Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter." ~James A. Garfield

There are times when I just need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I came home after being in the hospital for a week due to complications from a gall bladder surgery, all I craved was peanut butter and jelly and Cool Ranch Doritos. Now, when I'm in a lot of pain, don't feel 100% or I can't sleep, I really want a good PB & J....and my husband makes the BEST PB & J in the world.

When I say my husband has a missionary's heart, it's putting it lightly. He serves unyieldingly each and every day. He gives and gives and gives. He gives physically and financially. The Lord has given him the gift of service in a big way. What comes to mind today is how much I take that for granted in our my pain. When I hurt and even when I could be taking care of myself, he serves me. He asks what I need and he provides. Whether it's getting my medicine, adjusting my heating pad, helping me up the stairs, or just making me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He serves me. Somtimes his mission is me.

But today, while I'm still dealing with my own disease, and while I still miss my missionary, I am filled with joy. Joy that God has me at a place in life where I can care for myself and though painful and tiring, I'm capable. My ability to care for myself is enabling my husband to serve the Lord in another area. Thankful to the Lord that he has blessed me with a God-fearing, God-loving servant as a husband. My husband has taught me how to treat others with more patience and grace. He's taught me how to give more abundantly and forgive more easily. I've seen him show unquestioning obedience to God, no matter how uncomfortable. What wonderful characteristics in a husband and also a father. I am blessed to have such a humble example for my sons to follow.

Today has proven to be another day of rest for me against my own desires to keep going. Lamentations 3:22-23 says "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Tomorrow is a new day and God's mercies are new every morning. So I rest and pray for renewed strength and pain relief tomorrow. I rest and pray for renewed strength for my husband tomorrow in a hot and tiring mission. I pray for other missionaries working with him who are battling sickness, climate, adjustment. I am here, doing my part in God's plan....the sacrifice.....though I don't consider being a mom or wife a sacrifice. But a lot of the time, my heart is with my husband and it aches for him.

So, as I smear my own peanut butter on one piece of bread and then spread the jelly on the other piece of bread, I am reminded of how much my husband has served me over the last 4 years of chronic illness.....and I couldn't be more thankful for him or thankful to God for blessing me with such a wonderful man to love.

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