Friday, August 27, 2010

Day 27, Part 2 - Haiti Mission - The Time and Place for your Game Face

"Without self-discipline, success is impossible, period.” ~Lou Holtz

Football season is revving up here in Ohio. I think you have to take some kind of oathe before moving to Columbus, Ohio...."I, Jacqueline Radford, do solemnly agree to follow, cheer, and become a die-hard fan of THE Ohio State Buckeyes." The scarlet-and-gray has seeped back into every department store, grocery store, and even gas station here in buckeye country and it's hard not to feel the anticipation of opening kickoff that's less than a week away. And, I'm not sure, but I think that maybe even Jesus is a Buckeye fan since last night during my time with him, he asked me to keep my game face on.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. ~2 Timothy 1:7

Putting on your game face is an act of self-discipline, of strength. Especially when you have to keep it on for any length of time. For me, I have to put it on from the time my boys are awake in the morning to the time they go to bed at night. I keep it on at work and running to the grocery store. Going to church or meeting with friends, all the while wearing my game face. Even when I'm talking to my husband in the evenings, I try my hardest to not burden him with my feelings, so therefore, I'm trying to keep my game face on even when talking to him. There are probably only a mere matter of minutes that I don't have my "game face" on. Jesus tells me specifically that I need to keep the game face on, but also tells me that I can take it off for Him.

Not giving in to the anguish and the heartache is an act of self-discipline. With a history of clinical depression and chronic pain, every moment of every day could have been disaterous for me. There are many days that I picked up, put on my "game face" and got ready for the day instead of climbing back into bed to cry myself back to sleep.

So, last night in my time with Jesus, I clearly heard him say that I need to keep my game face on. Stay strong. Don't get too mushy or lovey-dovey. But, he also said - "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." ~Matthew 11:28 Jesus wants me to remove the mask for him. Jesus wants my hurts. He wants my sobs and wails and cries and whys. When I fall limply into bed at night, feeling like a broken, sad little girl....Jesus wants me to reach for Him and find comfort in his arms. For there is safety there and there is healing there. He's making me new in so many ways. What greater honor to be able to abide in him.

It only takes a mere matter of minutes for the breakdown and the re-build of my shell. A shower or devotional time. Usually 10-15 minutes with the Lord is enough to straighten out my attitude to where I don't need the game face. It's just me, hangin' out with God.

So, while my heart continues to ache for the return of my husband....Jesus is teaching me some football techniques, putting on my game face (I'm tellin' you I got the vision of Jesus pointing at His eyes and then to know what I'm talkin about.) He wants to continue building my strenghth, but also wants to continue showing me when and where the appropriate times are to take the mask off. on, Jesus. It's 4th and goal. Teach me how to win this one.

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